


If it wasn't you

by MiidnightMxlody



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, F/M, Mind control by the First Order is a thing, This is kind of my own timeline, more to be added - Freeform, warning for attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:01:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26133895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiidnightMxlody/pseuds/MiidnightMxlody
Summary: This is based off a 'what if...?' sort of idea that I had for a character of mine. Basically, what if the First Order took her, and left Ben Solo alone. So, in this, he is still with his mother and the Rebellion, and never became Kylo Ren.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Original Female Character, More to be added - Relationship





	If it wasn't you

_ No escape but this, no escape but this, no escape..but this.  _

The words kept repeating over and over in her head, as the warning lights kept going off. 

They cut through everything: the noise, the pain, the control. After years and years of this, she couldn’t take anymore. The collar on her neck was warning her - she’d lose consciousness eventually from its shocks if she continued; to anyone on the outside it looked like a suicide mission. She’d come alone, in a rather small ship. Any help that could have come to her aid in time had been picked off already.  _ What was she doing? _

For a so-called ‘dog of war,’ this attack lacked all precision and finesse. Nothing like the usual attacks or battles initiated - and most often,  _ won  _ \- by her. It seemed like she wanted to lose - wanted to be plummeting to the planet below; whether she did, or did not, only she could really know. The effort to block her master’s voice out of her head was making her skull throb. The continued exertion was drawing blood from her nose; because of that, her oddly-colored blood was quickly drying and sticking to her skin from the sheer, and immense heat of the ship going down. 

The effort had to look at least mostly real, or she would have suffered more for it. Right now, it looked like stupidity and gross error. Which was good for her - as well as not. Because, while it was not seen as the outright treason that it truly was, it was still highly punishable. In the end, it was that punishment that made it impossible for her to stay awake. Things faded out, right as her ship collided with the ground below. Had it been anyone else, it would have killed them on impact. The smoke filling the ship, and fire that started soon after should have, and would have, were it not for the order given to the rebels to pull her out before it could explode. 

“No, this happened for a reason. No First Order ship comes here alone. We need to know why,” Leia turned to her fellow rebels, a grim look on her face. She knew that they were not going to like it.  _ But what other choice did they have?  _ Trying to use the Force to remove the information from the mind of a half-dead person was not going to work; like it or not, Zida Vay was going to have to be healed up first. 

“But General Organa, with all due respect - Vay has killed more than her fair share of people! Our people! Why keep her alive? You’ve seen what she can do, we all have. If we don’t kill her now, we may not get another chance to try!” 

The protest came from one of the four that Leia had been speaking with, who all hesitated and looked at her as if she with great and disturbed uncertainty. Doing this could most certainly be a mistake; they did not see the point in keeping an enemy so great alive.  _ Surely, she’d be of most use to them dead, _ they thought. 

“We can learn from her, Kade.” Leia sighed; she was not budging on this. Only once, had she seen the face of this enemy. It was but a glimpse, and it had stuck with her. That was another reason why she was not giving the order to kill - not yet. Because something in her nagged at the General. She needed to know if she was right, or not. And she needed to try to figure it out before Ben got back - because, if she did not, it could spell a whole new kind of problem for them all. 

“She did not come here without reason. And until we know what that reason is, I cannot allow you to execute our prisoner. Do you understand? She is to be hauled out of the ship - which I want you to salvage as much of as possible - and then take her to the med bay. No questions.” Leia shook her head, pausing, before adding “And I want to know when she is awake. I wish to speak with her myself.” With that, she dismissed them. Grumbles could be heard echoing from the halls as the four went out to do as their General had asked. Had it not been an order, there was the likelihood that they would have ignored her. It was only their respect for her, that prodded them to do as she wanted when it made little to no sense to them at all. 

“Can you see anything?” Kade coughed, shielding his face from the heat of the flames that had sprung up. He was not happy about this, but wasn’t going to do it halfway. Doing so might end in the injury of one of his friends, so he begrudgingly went about this as carefully as possible: although not without it being at the back of his mind, that if anything were to happen to his friends while trying to help her, Zida was going to pay. Even if he had to do it himself, she would pay. 

“No, I don’t see any-” One of the others, a young woman by the name of Aemi, called to Kade. She stopped short, coughing on a mixture of smoke and dust. Her sudden stop made Kade’s brows furrow. 

“What?” he asked tentatively, cautious. He could already feel his anger rising. The thought that she could have been hurt when he heard lthe loud scraping of metal moving around, making its way towards the front of his mind. “Aemi?”

“I found her!” Aemi called next, after the other two of their group had tried to get her to answer; concerned for the same reason as Kade was: this was no easy task, even when so many others had come out to help put out the fires. 

A collective sigh of relief left the other three, as Aemi motioned them over. It wasn’t going to get much easier from here - that much was evident just by looking at what could be seen of Zida’s condition. 

“Kriff..” Kade sighed, brows furrowing again for about the millionth time since this whole thing had begun. 

“Stop it, Kade. Help us pull her out already.” another rebel, whose name Kade had momentarily space, said to him as she pushed past him to go and help Aemi. Shaking his head, Kade thought about procrastinating longer. More to spite Zida than the other rebels around him, or even General Organa for ordering them to do this to begin with - although he  _ still  _ was not too happy about it. 

“Fine, fine.” Kade rolled his eyes. He was sure that they would all regret this soon enough - and then he could tell them all that he told them so, before Zida recovered and killed them shortly after. He was sure that that was what was going to happen:  _ was he the only one here with any sense anymore?  _

Kade had to wonder. 

Watching them pull the seemingly-lifeless body from the wreckage of the ship gave him more hope than he would have liked to admit. If she was already dead, then they could all claim they both did what they were told to, and all that they could. The feeling made him relax a bit; he knew that he shouldn’t feel how he did, it was wrong to. But in his eyes, this was about as bad as having someone ask him to help Darth Vader out. He’d heard the stories, he knew how bad Vader was. And from what he understood, Zida wasn’t much better. So...why were they doing this?  **_What_ ** _ was General Organa  _ **_thinking_ ** _? _

The questions kept piling up for Kade, as he went about helping put out the fires and pull Zida out in one piece. He fought the urge to spit at her in anger and frustration; such an open display of his disdain and hate was not going to gain him any less negativity today. Kade tried to remind himself of this, as he watched the black-armored person sliding out of the now-ruined ship in front of him. In his eyes, if she were dead now, it would not only save them a lot of trouble...it would serve her right. Every cell in him fought against trying to finish her off just in case; he couldn’t help the desire as it grew, though. How could anyone willingly do so much damage to so many people and not care? It didn’t make any sense to him. He didn’t get it, and he didn’t want to. 

“We’re going to regret doing this, you guys know that don’t you?”


End file.
